What are some signs that a therapist may have poor boundaries with their clients?

Struggling with fantasies of deeper connections with clients, whether sexual or parental or other intense or intimate relationships beyond psychotherapy.

Obsessing about clients outside of work hours.

Failing to mention the client in supervision/consultation, out of fear the supervisor/consultant will advise return to ordinary healthy boundaries.

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Sense of competition with persons who are important in the client’s life.

Disclosing feelings, fantasies, and experiences to the client in ways not related to the work the client is engaged in.

Off the top of my ancient head:

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Serious disappointment when the client cancels a session.

Frequent phoning or texting of clients to “check up on them and make sure they’re OK.”

Routinely going over the time limit with certain patients, compromising the time for the next client.

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General Introduction to Boundaries from Panahi Counseling:

These items can happen fleetingly, briefly, in any therapy, but if they’re frequent, it’s definitely time for the therapist to get some good, solid supervision/consultation.

Eager anticipation (or anxious anticipation) of the next session in ways that distract.

What were the first few days, weeks, months and then years like after finding out about your spouses infidelity? How did your feelings, and yours & their approach to the situation change in the immediate aftermath compared to later down the line?

Session-expressed curiosities about client details not relevant to the therapy.